Sick Days
by Storm Arashi
Summary: Superman comes down with a flu that's been going around the Legion. His friends try to cure him but so far none have worked. Are the cures going to work or is he going to die from the cure instead of the flu?
1. Ice Cream to the nose

Chapter One: One flu over the genius.

Clark Kent or rather Superman to the Legion woke up feeling a bit different then normal. He looked at his calender and shrugged. Nothing special besides his day off. Laying down he turned quickly to double check it. Yes he wasn't imagining it.

At that moment he coughed several times. "Well this is new...I hope I'm not getting sick..." He mumbled when he caught his breath. He heard rumors about how strange the others got when someone got sick. Nothing about Brainy came up though but he would avoid the others just incase he was sick. He didn't want to risk getting them sick too or risk them trying out any of their crazy home remedies out on him.

He trusted them yes. But he didn't trust Lightning Lad trying the pepper in the nose cure. Or worse. He remembered, his fathers dreaded soup cure. The soup was good. It was the fact Clark had to hang on to a railing in the barn upside down. He shivered at the memory. He couldn't look at his father for a week.

Laying back down he felt his own forehead noting that it was warmer then usual. "Thats it I'm hiding in here. No one can make me leave." He resolved covering himself with the blankets.

Nothing could make him leave. But it probably wouldn't stop his friends from trying.

_XXXXXXXXXXXX_XXXXXXXXXXXXX_

His friends had noticed when he didn't show up for breakfest. "Maybe he's just sleeping in?" Triplicate Girl suggested. "I mean it is his day off."

Lightning Lad laughed. "Superman? Sleep in? That farmboy doesn't know the meaning of sleeping in!"

"Lightning Lad..." Saturn Girl warned.

"I'll go see if he's up." Brainy said getting up from his seat. Making his way to his friends room he caculated the possible reasons why Superman would want to sleep in.

_It is possible he's coming down with something. He isn't a fully grown Kryptonian. But Clark takes good care of himself. However it is not entirely impossible. He did avoid the annual Legionnaire medical exams...Claimed he had errands to run. I know they warned him that I would admisiter more tests due to his powers._ Brainy thought as he approached the door that seperated him from Clark.

He knocked. No answer. "Clark? Are you awake?" The door wizzed open. Brainy sighed. "I know its your first day off in awhile. But thats no excuse to sleep past eight." He inwardly rolled his eyes. He wasn't Clark's mother.

He still received no response. Walking over to the bed his patience was running thin. This was the last straw. "Superman get up right now!" He grabbed Clark's shoulder and shook it.

"Mmmph...No ten more minutes Mom." The teen hero only mumbled.

"This isn't your mother. I mean it Clark get up right now." Brainy turned on the light.

Clark opened one eye and glared at him. He turned back over and covered himself more with the blankets.

_This is going to take awhile..._ Brainy thought in annoyence.

"Clark Kent get out of bed right now!" He pulled the blankets off of Clark who in turn sighed.

_**I feel like crap...And now he's making me get up.**_ Thought Clark as he sat up slowly taking in a deep breath.

"Brainy I need a few minutes...Heck an hour would be nice." He tried to reason with him.

"Superman this is irreguler even for you." Brainy said concern in his voice. Clark immediately felt guilty.

_**No! I will not spill! I am not going to get the mother of all lectures from Brainy! Especially if he tells everyone. I know Lightning Lad would take this as a chance to prank me.**_ Clark was trying hard to fight down the urge to say he felt sick. But the resolve to never speak a word of it melted under the fact of he looked into Brainy's eyes.

"I don't feel good...I felt..Different this morning but I brushed it off and went back to bed...Now I feel like general crap." Clark finally admitted.

Brainy felt his forehead and pulled it away quickly. "Your burning up. Lay back down I'll be back." He told Clark who complied feeling like he just sentanced himself to death.

"I'm gonna die aren't I?" He asked no one in particular as his door shut. "Yup they're gonna try to cure me and kill me whilst their at it." _**Yup I'm done for. **_Clark thought in dread.

The next few minutes went by painfully slow. Clark quickly and quietly moved to his closet locking it when he got inside.

"Can't find me here." He snickered to himself. Then froze. This was Brainy he was talking about. Brainy would find him for sure.

He heard his door wizz open and held his breath. "Clark? Where are you?"

Footsteps approached his hiding place. "COMPUTO override lock." The closet door wizzed open to reveal a very unamused Brainiac 5.

"You really think I'm a low level intelligence?" He seemed to challenge Clark to say otherwise.

"I'm sorry?" He noticed Brainy had a bottle of some sort of substence and tried to hide the dread he surely was showing on his face.

"Get out of there. Now." There was no argueing with Brainy when he was mad.

Clark felt guilty again as he made his way back to his bed. Brainy seemed to soften up at the guilty look.

However Clark doubted the substence in the bottle as Brainy opened it. "Here take this." Clark took the bottle and glanced in it.

He thought he saw the liquid move. As in living move. "I'm not drinking this." Clark shook his head handing it back. "Can't force me." He added.

Brainy smirked almost evilly walking over to Clark. "Can't force you huh?" He raised an eyebrow amused at Clark's childish behavoir. _He thinks he can avoid treating his symptoms can he? Well I'll just have to prove him wrong. _ He then frowned to imitate worry. "I suppose I have no choice then." He sighed.

Clark figited under the look he was given. "I guess you'll just have to be removed from your room and taken to the infirmery."

Clark gulped. _**No! I do not want that! It'll be even worse! **_"Okay okay I'll take the medicine! Anything but the infirmery!" He begged. Brainy smirked and Clark narrowed his eyes. **_So he won this round... _**Taking the bottle back he drank the substence almost gagging on the taste.

"Blergh...I hate you so much right now." He said waiting for whatever torture Brainy could come up with next.

"Its for your own good Clark. I'll be back later. Get some sleep and if I find you in that closet again...You are, going into the infirmery even if we have to get Lightning Lad and Timberwolf to drag you." The threat only made Clark gulp. Small victories worked too. Brainy only shook his head as he walked out of the Kryptonians room.

Walking into the lounge where everyone else was he called their attention. "Clark has come down with either the common cold or the flu that has been going around through out the Legion. I'd approach him with caution as he is avoiding treatment like the plague." Brainy explained.

Only to receive Lightning Lad burst out laughing. "Well-hahaha- I got the perfect cure. Worked on my brother ALL the time." He snickered.

Brainy wondered if telling the others was a good idea for a moment.

When Clark woke up from his nap he was a little afraid to find Lightning Lad in his room holding a jug of ice cream. "Hey heard you were sick and I got the perfect cure for ya!" He motioned to the ice cream.

Clark was not amused. "Eating ice cream won't help." He countered. He had a horrible feeling about this.

"No its not for eating stupid!" Lightning Lad grinned evilly.

"Seriously what's it for?" Clark demanded. Lightning Lad produced a spoon.

"Its for sticking up your nose."

Clark eyed him aware that he was probably not kidding. "Who told you to do this! Was it Brainy!" He was trying to stall the possible coldness to his sinuses.

"No. I volunteered to help our poor sick Superman. Now hold still." 

Clark meeped and ran for the closet using his superspeed. "Computo lock the door!" He shouted.

Lightning Lad snickered. He would get him. He would.

"I guess I'll just tell Brainy to bring one of the gurneys to take ya to the infirmery." Clark contemplated his options at this point. Go out there and have ice cream possibly with chunks of some fruit or candy up his nose and suffer. Or stay and have Brainy haul him off to where he could be watched by the genius.

He sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright have mercy. I'm coming out." He gave up. Unlocking his closet he didn't expect to be grabbed and held still by Timberwolf.

"Nice job TW. Make sure his head's stuck."

Clark whimpered at the spoonful of ice cream heading towards his face.

_XXXXXXX_XXXXXXXXXX_XXXX_

Brainy and the others watched outside the door waiting to hear any sounds of a struggle.

"!" Clark's scream sounded through the door loud and clear. "ITS COLD! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

"Brainy was, it really that good an idea to leave TW and Lightning Lad alone with Superman?" Bouncing Boy asked.

Brainy sighed. "Its either that or continue to threaten him with infirmery confinement."

Lightning Lad's maniacle laugh could be heard and Clark screamed again.

"Okay I'll put a stop to this." Saturn Girl said.

_XXXXXXXXXXXX

Authors note: This is a random idea I had. In this story Clark's invunerabillity only protects him from psychical attacks and his superstrangth is failing him. This story will be only four chapters long.


	2. He wants sleep not treatment

Chapter Two: Pain, pain and blood.

After rescuing Clark, Saturn Girl suggested her own remedy.

Clark didn't like how Brainy readily agreed to it. Why? Acupuncture when his invulnerability wasn't working sounded terrifying.

Especially since Brainy managed to create a weird contraption that looked like a twin sized bed but with thousands or even millions of acupuncture needles on it. "Yo-You expect me to lay on that? And NOT die from getting stabbed?" Clark asked shocked.

"No thats for AFTER your chest and face get acupunctured." Brainy brushed him off.

Before Clark knew it he had at least a hundred needles in his skin. From his head down he had needles in his legs even.

"Come on Brainy...I don't WANT to be forced on that thing!" He whined painfully aware that if he crossed his arms he could possibly kill himself from stabbing a vein. Faced with an option of laying on a bed of needles didn't sound too inviting.

"Bed of needles or hot coals. I have both at my disposal and I think burns AND a flu are harder to treat and require being in the infirmary." Brainy had to bring up that threat.

Clark relented and tried hard not to move as he layed on the bed of needles. Everything hurt.

He wasn't lieing either. Everything stung.

"Brainy this is ridiculous." He muttered.

"I heard that and its not. Its just...Our take on a classic cure."

_**You of course mean our TWISTED and INSANE take on a classic cure.**_ Clark thought as he groaned in pain.

He was pretty sure he was going to die from this.

When he finally was able to get off the needle bed he all but ripped out the acupuncture needles on his front.

He managed to make it to his room without crying.

He saved that for when he was alone.

_In the lounge_

With the acupuncture a failure it was time for another idea. Phantom Girl grinned. "Say what about a good ol' bleeding? Like from the 19th century. Its not like it could kill him."

Brainy contemplated this. It could work considering Clark was Kryptonian. But he did appear to be in quite a strong amount of pain. Would causing more pain treat him or make him worse? 

So far not even the fever reducer he had invented specifically for Clark was working.

"Or we could try the ice cream up the nose cure again." Lightning Lad offered. Brainy gave him a glare.

He was having too much fun torturing Clark with that one.

"I'll go with Phantom Girl's idea. Only with less scarring then a bleeding from the nineteenth century." Brainy said to the others with a clipped voice. Walking to the infirmary he gathered up what he would need and headed for Clark's room.

Clark was trying hard not to move too much. Those needles really hurt! "I have a horrible feeling I'm going to feel worse by morning." He mumbled as his door whizzed open to reveal Brainy.

He gulped. "B-Brainy I do NOT want any weird serum or anymore needles or ice cream up the nose! I mean it!"

Brainy put, down his equipment and placed a hand on Clark's head as if he was a child. "Clark I'm only doing this because we're all worried about you. Its not everyday that you get sick." He explained.

Clark hung his head low. "Fine...What's the brilliant idea this time?"

"Phantom Girl suggested a 19th century cure. Something known as bleeding."

Clark gasped. "NO! NO! NO! NO!" He shook his head wildly trying to keep Brainy back. "No bleeding! No knives! No needles!" 

Brainy smiled and shook his head. "Sorry but you really have no choice...And there won't be any needles or knives involved." His smile seemed to turn evil to Clark. "Leeches will do."

Clark squeaked. "Leeches!" He repeated.

"Yes. Now take off that shirt."

It seemed Brainy enjoyed tormenting Clark that day. First it was a nasty MOVING serum then ice cream up his nose then a failed acupuncture that made him feel weak and now leeches.

He grumbled glaring at one that was getting a little too friendly with his elbow. "Brainy...Get these things off of me!" He whined. He felt dirty. Extremely dirty. And light headed. "I think they're sucking me dry. I don't feel good." A cold hand was pressed to his forehead. Clark's eyes however ignored it and kept his eyes on Brainy. "Please I think I'm going to pass out." He begged.

Brainy's eyes widened in alarm. "Hang on just a moment." A moment would stretch into twenty minutes to get every last leech off of Clark. And by then Clark was leaning against his pillow trying hard to control his breathing.

"Never...Again." Clark gave Brainy a look. "No more leeches EVER! ...Unless its Lightning Lad. I need revenge for the ice cream."

"*sigh* I apologize Clark. I didn't think they were THAT hungry. I fed them yesterday." Brainy tried to reason with the teen hero who was trying hard not to beg for mercy or death.

"Anything but leeches." Clark had resorted to begging. Brainy felt a bit guilty at nearly making his friend and idol pass out from blood loss.

"Alright no more leeches." Brainy promised, giving Clark a comforting smile that made him even more afraid.

"I wanna sleep." Clark grumbled in complaint.

"No. No sleep after that. At least not for a couple of hours."

Clark sighed but complied. He leaned against the wall instead of his pillows.

When Brainy left Clark looked up to the ceiling and prayed. Prayed that he would survive this torture.

He could tell leeches wasn't Brainy's original idea. He hadn't forgotten the needles or the plastic bags that was obviously meant to drain some of his blood.

He glanced in a mirror that was on his wall and blanched. He was as white as a sheet. "Revenge will be mine."

_Lounge_

"I'm afraid to try anything involving taking his blood after the leech incident." He gave a pointed look to Phantom Girl.

Timber wolf sighed. "As amusing as these past hours have been what about just fluids? Y'know soup and juice. Water-" He looked up to see Brainy walking away.

He had a horrible feeling he would face Superman's wrath when he was well again.

Clark's room_

Clark had managed to get under his bed holding a 31st century version of a NERF gun. He kept it pointed at the door waiting to shoot at anyone to enter un-invited or bearing supposed cures.

He just wanted to sleep but no. He had to watch his butt and make sure no one bled him to death whilst he slept or stuck who knows what up his nose.

He didn't even want to think about possible drevination. He knew medical history well enough from school. He knew that if they could they probably would drill a hole in his head.

The door whizzed open and Clark fired two foam darts. "AWAY! AWAY FROM HERE! I DON'T WANT DREVINATION!"

A chuckle. Brainy bent down to meet his eyes. "Well I wouldn't want to get my head drilled in either. I have not come bearing gifts nor am I bearing any home remedies. Except one from your time."

Clark narrowed his eyes. He knew it. He would have to face the dreaded soup cure once and for all. "I'm not getting on that pipe on my ceiling upside down and eating soup."

"No. I wasn't even aware that was possible." Brainy straightened up. "Don't worry its just chicken soup and water."

Clark slowly crawled out from under his bed still holding the toy weapon. He eyed the tray sitting on his bed then Brainy. "You drugged it didn't you?"

"No I did not. I think your becoming paranoid Clark." Brainy crossed his arms.

Clark grumbled but handed him back the tray only to have it returned when he got onto his bed.

"Eat." Clark rolled his eyes at the commanding tone and ate the soup. Which he admitted tasted downright terrible. It tasted like his best friend Chloe from Smallville cooked it and burnt it. And he knew for a fact she could burn soup.

"It tastes like Chloe cooked it." He said after finishing.

"I hope that's a compliment." Brainy commented taking the tray away.

Clark smirked as he layed back down ready for some well needed sleep. "No. It was an insult. Chloe's a horrible cook." He closed his eyes appriciateing the small victory.

_So he wants to play it like that. Well there's more Legionnaires and more remedies to try. I hope he at least enjoyed his lunch. That chicken in the soup is all he's going to get as a solid for a looong time._ Brainy smirked as he walked out of Clark's room. Clark was proving to be a mystery of how to treat him. And it was amusing Brainy with how childish he was acting.

If anything this would only become more interesting.

Clark meanwhile had faked sleep and had grabbed his weapon and got under his bed again. "You'll never take me alive! Wait..." That didn't sound right.

Lounge_

"I don't get why nothing is working. Perhapes its more then a flu?" Brainy pondered this as Triplicate Girl came up with another home remedie.

"Well...This'll probably sound gross but back on Cargg we actually would stick chewed up gumballs in both the ears. Worked like a charm."

Brainy gave her a flat look. "I guess I have no other choice. If a threat comes and we need Superman, we'll need him at full strangth." He said as he once again exited the lounge.

"Why do I have a horrible feeling I did something to cause Clark pain?" Triplicate Girl bit her lip when Brainy was out of earshot.

_Clark's Room._

"They'll NEVER find me here again..." Clark managed to get back in the closet but left his gun on a launcher to set off the foam darts whenever someone neared his bed.

"Wait...Brainy always follows through on his threats." Clark moved to get out of the closet quickly. Just as he was closeing it he heard the door whizz open. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around himself. "Just a little chilly." He said although he sounded lame in his opinion.

"Ahuh...I have one more cure I want to try before I run any tests incase its worse then the flu." Brainy explained as Clark instead of the bed sat on his desk chair.

He raised an eyebrow. "And its...?" 

"...Close your eyes and whatever you do don't move or scream." Brainy warned him. He did so but that didn't stop him from gasping when something gooey and wet was stuck in his ear. "What...The..HELL is this!" He demanded.

Brainy didn't answer until the other glob of whatever was in his ear. When Clark opened his eyes Brainy looked apologetic. "What'd you do!"

"Chewing gum in your ear."

Clark fell out of his chair in a dead faint.

_Lounge_

"Supes is sick!" Bunny and Blossom exclaimed when they returned from HQ after a mission.

"Yeah and we need PLENTY of cures since Brainy's going to probably find nothing but the flu." Lightning Lad smirked. "So come up with your worse." 

"...Bury him in red ants?"

_Some time later...

Clark awoke to find himself back in bed and nothing in his ears. Letting out a sigh of relief he looked around and gulped. The infirmary. But he did whatever they wanted him to! 

"What am I doing here! I listened!" Clark asked Brainy who was adjusting a tall box that was just slightly taller then him and glass.

"Just incase of an allergic reaction to this cure. The tests I ran showed only the flu." Brainy replied with an annoyed tone.

"What's the box for?"

"You."

"Me?" Clark jumped off the table feeling like he was about to be executed.

Brainy opened it and gave him a look. "Just get in." He demanded. Clark pouted but relented.

_Outside of HQ_

Clark's scream ran through out HQ and to even outside.

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! IT STINGS! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!" Clark yelled. Red fire ants were all over him stinging him.

"I'm sorry Clark. This is for your own good." Brainy seemed apologetic.

Clark doubted it.

_End Chapter_

The chewing gum idea was by Wolf Warrior Girl Okami and Blossom and Bunny belong to Legion22.

I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written.


End file.
